"Safe Sex is Great Sex"

"...so you better wear a latex, cause you don't want that late text, the 'uh-oh I think I'm late' text." Lil Wayne's poignant, emotionally complex song "Lollipop" here addresses issues of safe sexual activity, making mention of the fact that unprotected sex can, and perhaps will, lead to surprise pregnancies and encourages his audience to "wrap it up." While this is perhaps surprisingly progressive in the rap genre, my intent for this post is not to discuss rappers and their proclivities towards "effing b's and getting g's," if you know what I mean, and whether or not they "wrap it up." Instead, I'd like to talk about safe sex, and our very own glaring beacon of safe sexual practices, the Safe Sex Store (S3).

S3 is kind of infamous in Ann Arbor and the surrounding area because it so proudly parades its intents to provide correct, consistent sexual health information (see the entire background of the store here). Not only does S3 deliver upon this goal, but takes it above and beyond sexual health information with a wide array of sex toys, condoms, lubricants, sex practices books, and even novelty items like a cake mold shaped like a penis (a practical addition to any college student's kitchen). S3 is unique because they encourage young people (well, all people, but this is a college town) to enjoy sex by doing it in a safe, healthy way--a far cry from the government-mandated abstinence-only teachings we received in middle and high school. Upon my first trip into the store about a month ago, I was greeted with a dizzying amount of vibrators, dildos, sexual fetish items, and a wall of condoms; needless to say, I was a bit overwhelmed and instinctively uncomfortable. As I browsed the condom wall and tried not to stare at the giant dildo inches from my face, I overheard the staff member (a former classmate of mine, actually), explaining to a customer the differences between the 50-or-so lubricants carried in the store. She was courteous, informed, and unabashed in her descriptions, and quite frankly, I was impressed. We chatted for a while, and she asked me if I needed help finding anything, etc etc--I won't go into it--but at first I found myself kind of embarrassed to talk to her. Then I thought, why? We're literally having a conversation in the middle of a sexual carnival and everyone else in that store wouldn't be there if they weren't seeking something as well.

I can't tell you the number of times I've walked past groups of freshman or high schoolers roaming South U and stopped in front of S3, peeking in the windows, giggling, and discussing in hushed tones how weird it is that Ann Arbor has a store devoted to sex. In light of the importance placed on sexual health education and its positive impacts on young people, as seen in the Delgado & Austin study, why are we so awkward and embarrassed when it comes to talking about sex? Isn't talking about sex, after all, the first step in sex ed? Delgado & Austin found that young people who had undergone a "media intervention" showed a "significant decrease in risk" and were more likely to use a condom than those who had no intervention (2007, p. 405-406). How are we supposed to get these results if we're too nervous or embarrassed to talk or to ask about it? Hust et al make perfectly clear that the media isn't taking responsibility for providing a healthy sexual education to young people, stating that a common theme throughout television programming is that "sexual health is humiliating and humorous" and citing Kunkel et al's finding that only about 10% of sexual scenes in popular television programs have a sexual precaution message (2008; 2005). If schools are teaching abstinence and media are teaching that sex is always risk-free as well as a humiliating subject, where are young people supposed to receive knowledge about the alternative?--that is, a healthy, precaution-driven sexual life. Organizations like S3 step up to the plate and provide a risk-free way to receive answers to questions about sex. There is an entire section of the website devoted to answering sexual health questions, how to use a condom, toy and vibrator information... it's the embarrassed college freshman's dream. S3 defies conventional attitudes towards sex and provides a safe, judgment-free place for people to learn about a natural part of human identity. While the role of the media is clearly extremely important in forming attitudes towards sex (see every article we've read for this class), I think that more credibility and attention needs to be given to organizations like S3 that attempt to change attitudes--perhaps S3 should be leading sexual health workshops in schools, though it would never happen. My point is that if we all regarded sex like S3, I honestly think our society would be much healthier, and much more satisfied, with their sexual lives. The next time you pass by S3, don't be shy to check it out--you might just learn something.